Lost in the Moments
by Nixariel
Summary: This is a series of drabbles featuring the cast of Chrno Crusade, but mainly focusing on the RosetteChrno pairing.  Be warned: I am a hopeless romantic.  And I wish I owned Chrno Crusade.
1. What's in a Name?

Rosette. Rosette. Rosette.

I love the way he says my name.

It's different from how everyone else pronounces it. Azmaria adds a little pleading edge to it, a little softness on the "-ette"… Father Remington smiles fondly through the syllables… Claire, Anna, and Marie all like to have a bit of a giggle in it. Sister Kate must love the sound of it since she screams it at me so often. She just puts extra volume into it.

I would recognize Chrno anywhere, as anything, as long as he said my name.

Chrno…lingers over my name. He never slurs it, even if I go down in battle and don't get up. Most people get the soft "Ro" part out easily enough, but Chrno never skips the last, harsher bit. There are three syllables after he's done. Ro-se-tte. He tastes it every time it passes his lips. It's precious in his mouth.

It used to just make me feel special. Now that I'm older, it gives me shivers too.

I don't know everything about his past, what he's done, the crimes he was part of. I don't need to. I hear all that's important every time he calls me. Rosette (I'll be there for you). Rosette (I'm so sorry). Rosette (I love you).

I wonder…What does he hear when I say his name?


	2. Addicted to You

It really is quite pathetic. I'm with her practically every waking hour, I know her every mood like the back of my hand, and I can hear her call from anywhere. Not only that, I hold her freely-given soul…but it isn't enough.

I can never get enough of the life that is Rosette, and it's killing her.

I want to wish for Rosette to end the contract, or to find some demon that could finally kill me, or that somehow, something would make her save whatever time she has left for herself and not waste it on me. I want to believe I feel this way, but they're all just lies meant to make me feel better. Yeah, as if wanting to martyr myself could possibly ease the fact that I am KILLING her second by second…especially since I really want the opposite.

I knew this truth the moment Rosette asked me to contract with her. I had vowed never to do this again, not after the guilt of Magdalena. Furthermore, I knew Rosette was far too young and upset to realize exactly what she was giving up. I shouldn't even consider mentioning her attempt to talk me into it as an excuse, because Rosette's never been that eloquent. She aims for the gut, not the heart. (It's a bigger target, especially on demons.) I could have, and should have, refused, but I was already far too wrapped up in one little girl. Too addicted to her.

That truth I found? I don't want to die.

I should rephrase that. I don't want to die while Rosette is still here. If there is room for me beside her, I want to be there. Even if there is no room, even if she goes so far as to banish me from her presence, I will find a way to be near. As long as there is the slightest chance to be together, I will not go. I am too selfish to give up a moment of Rosette when I can have it for myself.

Where she is, I will be.

Her faithful shadow, always.


	3. Say the Word

I want her. I need her. I love her.

The words are meaningless. Cheap, used, dirtied by the many mouths they have been in all across the world. Abused, and robbed of feeling. No mortal tongue is still pure enough for the words I need if I tell her, and I lost the right to speak as angels do a very long time ago. Bereft of speech, dumb as any animal, what do I have left?

Action.

I do what I can, and sometimes I do too much. (So Rosette tells me if I wake up in the convent's infirmary after an exorcism.) I carry, I fetch, and I take the so-called beatings she gives me. (Honestly, I'm a DEMON. It takes more than a noogie to hurt me.) She likes to play, and that's something else I can do for her…because she likes to see me play too. I even do laundry! In battle I try to walk the fine line between protecting her and squandering her precious time…but it's not easy. Demons weren't meant to deal with this kind of conflict between instinct and reason. We weren't meant to love either.

There it is again. That word, love.

I want the word to be clean, for her. I want it to be as pristine as it was when Adam first saw Eve, when the whole world was fresh and new and untarnished by my kind. (Oh, the irony. Me, trying to hold on to the paradise my own ancestors helped topple.) I wish it could be that way if I said it to her, because it is fresh and new to my mouth. I've never used it before. But it lies stillborn because I know the world will smear it with filth should I ever let it out.

I'll keep it hidden, then. I'll tell her in ways the rest of the world can't see, and that will keep it safe. Free. Pure.

Eternal.

Author's Note

There are a number of things behind this ficlet, some of them to do with Chrno Crusade and some of them to do with what I have been reading lately. First, Rosette is a NUN! She is supposed to be celibate, a.k.a. no sex. I love the ChrnoRosette pairing, but I think too highly of Rosette to assume she would break her vows as easily as many authors have written. If you want them to sleep together, keep it in character. If you need ideas on how to deal with this, I suggest reading "Crossing the Line" by Manda-chan. While you are doing that, you can check out her other works and encourage her to keep updating through reviews. (Although, that would be a personal favour for me because I quite like her writing and I really want her to continue.) Second thing I have issues with (that was referred to in the ficlet, because believe you me, I have a lot of issues sometimes) is the phrase "I love you" or variations upon it. It is one of the most beautiful and meaningful phrases one person can say to another, but so many people out there just cheapen it! They use it as a bribe, a reward, or to pressure others into doing things. It has turned into another kind of currency, and it makes me sick! Granted, I've never actually been in a romantic relationship before, but if even half the things I've heard are true… People in general do not inspire much hope in me when I think about things like this.

By the way, I think I'm going to try to make the next ficlet a bit lighter in tone. I'm starting to depress myself, and the world is enough already.

See! See! There I go again. My next fic will be happy, folks. At least, I'll try my best.


	4. Hidden Thoughts of a Romantic Mind

I'm always watching them.

I've seen them together, and I've seen them apart. It's easy to see that they do their best work together, but trying to get either one to admit to reasons greater than friendship behind it? You'd have more luck getting Sister Kate to do the foxtrot!

And I really shouldn't be encouraging them. A man of God, playing matchmaker between a nun and a demon… Even considering my personal situation, many would consider it as crossing the line between controversial and out-right rebellious.

But I just can't help it.

After all, if anyone has a right to judge them, it's me. I was the one hunting Chrno after he took Magdalena. I witnessed her death, and how Chrno reacted to it. I was the one who sealed him in her tomb, with his willing cooperation. And then with Rosette, I've seen her before and after her brother's disappearance. I brought her into the Magdalene Order and I acted as her mentor in those early days when she needed me. Out of all their friends, I am the only one who has been around long enough to see the changes that have come over them.

Call it a 'fatherly' interest, if you must.

Truth is, I never thought the austere life of a nun would suit Rosette. Exorcism, yes, but not the self-denial and sedateness that entering a convent would require. I was right, but that's beside the point. Furthermore, Chrno would never have come near the Order again if it weren't for Rosette. Those two were made for each other, and that's how I know God has a sense of humour. That's why I never complain about Rosette's unconventional ways. That's why I try to tweak at Chrno's jealousy.

They're just so damn _cute_.

A/N: This is supposed to be light, at least for me. I've always rather liked Father Remington; he knows not to take life too seriously. If only he weren't celibate… I could have so much fun with his character. Scratch that, I'm STILL going to have fun with his character (eventually).

Also, these ficlets have been done at about three or four in the morning. I'm also the only one editing them, and that's usually at five in the morning when I finally finish them. If someone is interested in beta-ing me, I'd be happy to hear from you.

By the way, I need a new anime to watch. I just finished Escaflowne (and the movie shudder) and I may watch the anime again, but any suggestions of ones similar to Chrno Crusade and/or Escaflowne would be appreciated. I also want to finish reading the manga version of Chrno Crusade, but I can't find anything from Book 6 Ch. 4 (Ch. 39 from the beginning) to the end of Book 8. I've heard talk of a novel too, but I have no idea where to even start looking for that. People who help will be thanked at the beginning (forcing people to read it while looking for the real story) of the next installment of this series, whenever that may be. Thanks, folks!


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